


Belonging

by Zoi no miko (zoi_no_miko)



Category: Dark City (1998)
Genre: First Time, M/M, Porn, Treat
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-12-25
Updated: 2011-12-25
Packaged: 2017-10-28 02:57:25
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,191
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/302965
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/zoi_no_miko/pseuds/Zoi%20no%20miko
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After freeing the city, John Murdoch struggles to find his place in the world.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Belonging

**Author's Note:**

  * For [epkitty](https://archiveofourown.org/users/epkitty/gifts).



When John had gone to Shell Beach on first day of sunshine, everything had been... strange. He'd felt somehow unsettled as he moved through Shell Beach, not quite able to shake the feeling that something was, if not wrong, then certainly not quite right. Emma - Anna now - had thanked him for the company when they reached the town, then turned aside to go her own way. John had made no attempt to stop her. Anna was Emma, and yet not Emma, just like Shell Beach was home and so very foreign all at once. He'd made his way through the town slowly, and everything was as it was in his memories. The town had been here forever, his memories said, but that was warred against by conscious knowledge that this was all completely new, all his own creation of moments ago.

His childhood home on the road to the lighthouse was the same, more so because he so clearly remembered it burning to the ground in his memories. Somehow, though, it was easier to reconcile this as his creation, as completely new and fake and entirely _his_. He went upstairs, the endless nights of no sleep catching up to him, and fell fast asleep.

The next morning it occurred to him that he had no idea where to go from there. The adventure was done, the foe vanquished. This was supposed to be a happily ever after. But what came after that? What was he supposed to do with himself now?

He went back into the city, revisiting places that seemed strangely foreign in daylight. How else was he to spend the day? Whatever life John Murdoch had lead - or was supposed to have lead - he was sure it no longer existed. He couldn't fit into a role in the city amongst the hundreds of people that he saw throughout the day - the normal people who had no idea what had happened or what the true nature of the city was.

He didn't quite realize where he was going until he found himself standing outside an office he'd only been to once before. Daniel was just exiting the building, and finally, finally, something seemed real. It was such a relief that it took a moment for him to realize that the doctor was speaking to him, to see the concern in the other man's eyes. John smiled and gave a little shake of his head, focusing on the blond in front of him that had been such an essential part of his memories. "I'm sorry?"

"I simply asked if you... are all right?" Daniel seemed so much more welcoming in the light of day, like an old friend rather than an unknown servant of the night. Perhaps that was his memories again, though, supplying things that weren't quite real, that shouldn't be.

"I... yes," John replied finally, giving his head another little shake. "I'm sorry, it's just... taking a bit to get used to everything. The things that everyone else thinks has been here for ages when my brain knows better."

Daniel nodded slightly, the little worried furrow between his eyebrows deepening a little. "It is always a risk," he said quietly, still watching him. "Would you like to sit down somewhere... so that we can talk about it?"

"Dinner?" John suggested, somehow liking the idea immediately. He couldn't know that this was Daniel, of course - or rather, that the man in front of him would be the same as in his memories. But Daniel had made those memories, hadn't he? Perhaps it would be real enough after all.

"Of course." Daniel fell into step with him, and John slowed a little to allow the doctor's limping gait. Blue eyes looked up at John as they walked, reading his expression. "I am truly sorry about Emma, John."

John shook his head. "We can't control everything, I guess. Just ourselves. What I remembered about her wasn't real, anyway. It wasn't who she became." He watched the other man as they walked, finally giving voice to his own questions. "When you were in my memories... the new ones you gave me, I mean... where - how did you...." he stopped and shook his head. "What's real and what's not?"

"What would you like to be real?" Daniel asked softly, voice calm and serious, glancing up at him over his wire rimmed glasses as they stopped in front of a French restaurant with tuxedo-clad waiters and starched white table cloths. He looked at the doors a little wistfully. "Is this too upscale for you?"

"No," John replied truthfully, touching his back gently to urge him inside the restaurant. "The option of amazing food is one we should take full advantage of. Let's eat."

It didn't take long to get a table, and John watched with a soft smile as Daniel corresponded with the waiter in what sounded like flawless French, ordering a bottle of wine that turned out to be quite excellent. But that only brought forward more questions. He looked over the top of the glass as he swirled the liquid around in the bowl, taking another sip. "Is this real?"

Daniel looked a little amused at that. "As real as you or I, John. Does it not taste real?"

"Well yes, but that's not what I meant. Was it grapes once, or was it just... created? Tuned? How do we get food in this city? Are we going to starve now that the strangers have gone?"

Daniel reached across the table to cover his hand gently with his own, warm and secure, and John found himself immediately calmed. "Everything here is created. There are systems and devices set up to take care of the city, don't worry. But it's real now."

And what about you? John wanted to ask, remembering with sudden vividness the Daniel in his memories. But he realized that asking that question would open up a whole new can of worms, add on so many things to explain and be explained. Part of him was a little afraid to know the answer to it. So instead he smiled and finished the meal and walked Daniel back to his nearby apartment, bidding goodbye with plans to meet up again the next day.

As they continued to meet, John began to wonder if Daniel continued to agree to this just to keep an eye on him, to keep him in line. To psychoanalyze him. Even John could admit that it probably wasn't the wisest idea to let someone with his powers and abilities have free range of the city without some system of checks and balances. He did his best to reassure Daniel that there was no need to worry, while at the same time drinking in the knowledge the other man had to give - the history of the experiments, some of the people he'd been, the different areas of the city both above and below ground. Things were beginning to fall into place for John, to make more sense. He was necessary, to make sure everything in the city ran smoothly, to keep the machines that ran the world creating everything that they needed. And spending time with Daniel was beginning to answer some of his unanswered questions as well: questions about what the man was truly like and what his motivations were and if the Daniel that was with him now was the same one who had guided him through years of training in his memories.

Sometimes it seemed like Daniel was waiting for something, seeming almost expectant. Waiting for John to understand some great revelation about the city hat he hadn't quite grasped yet. He wanted to ask... but surely this, like everything else, would come in time. For now it was pleasant and easy just to spend his time in the city in Daniel's company.

"I really appreciate all of this," John told him finally one night as they made their way back toward Daniel's house. "I didn't realize how lost I'd feel with the Strangers gone."

"It's very difficult to anticipate what you have have not yet experienced," Daniel said, stopping at the stairs leading in to his apartment building and looking up at John with a smile. "But you're doing fine, don't worry. And I did commit to work for you, if I remember correctly."

The memory came back vividly at the reminder, and John regarded him with curiosity, his lips parting slightly as he mulled over the memory. "You... remember that?"

"Not like you do." Daniel's voice was apologetic. "But I did create those memories, John. I am just as familiar with them as you are. And I would not leave you to this city alone no matter what the circumstance."

It was real. He was real. But John realized he'd know that all along. He wet his lips, uncertainty suddenly turning into the most delicious kind of nervousness. If what he remembered of Daniel was real, or shared at least in this sense, then perhaps it would be all right to entertain the questions he'd been pushing aside for days. "What about you, though? This whole time everything has been all about me.... you're the one they treated so badly for so long...."

Daniel glanced down with a soft, breathless laugh. "Please do not worry about me, John. I am simply happy to have a purpose. To help someone. You."

"Just me?" John couldn't resist the asking, stepping closer to him, encouraged when Daniel made no move to pull away. "I keep meaning to ask you something about the memories that you made for me. You were always there, like you understood me perfectly. I know it wasn't real for you like it was for me, but... it was you, wasn't it? You gave me a lifetime of knowing you. Why?"

"It was the best way to teach you," Daniel replied automatically, eyes flicking up to his before glancing away again. "I apologize - "

"Don't," John shook his head, reaching a hand up to cup one shoulder, voice soft. "I'm just curious as to why you put yourself there. I could have just as easily learned from books or a variety of teachers. But you made us close. Why?"

Daniel gave a soft sigh, then looked up at him with a careful, almost forced calm. "Why do you think, John?"

It didn't take much to close the gap between them, to lean in and press his lips to Daniel's warmly, reveling in the warmth of his mouth, the soft moan that escaped Daniel's throat as he brought his hands up to grasp the edges of John's jacket, keeping him from pulling away. This was what he'd been missing, he realized with a shock of desire. This is what he needed.

"I've been waiting so long for you to figure it out," Daniel breathed softly as they parted. Then he took a deep breath and stepped back towards the apartment door. "Come. We can continue this conversation inside."

"Of course," John agreed, heart beating so loudly that he was sure Daniel must be able to hear it. He reached out impulsively as they entered the elevator, catching Daniel's hand in his own and squeezing gently, returning the warm smile that Daniel favored him with.

The conversation didn't last long, or hardly at all. With the door to Daniel's apartment shut behind them, John couldn't help but pull him close again, claiming his mouth with a low groan as he let his hands stroke around his waist and up his shoulders, feeling an unexpected strength under the fine fabric of his suit jacket. Daniel yielded to him without restraint, hands sliding up over his shoulders and around his neck, one hand sliding up to tangle in the dark curls of his hair. It was so incredibly vivid - the feel of his body against his, the taste of his mouth, the soft, encouraging little moans that he drew from Daniel's throat when he nibbled at his bottom lip or caught his ass in both hands to pull him closer.

"I didn't know if it was real," he murmured, breaking from Daniel's mouth to kiss along his jaw. "I remembered so much and I wanted so much and I didn't know if it was just my memories building this closeness or if you really...."

"Yes," Daniel answered, fingers tightening in his hair, forcing him to meet his gaze, blue eyes unexpectedly dark and yearning. "Yes, a thousand times yes. Oh god, John, you have no idea...."

"I'm beginning to understand," John replied with a warm smile, and leaned in to kiss him again.

It should have surprised him, how easy it was to give himself over to the desire he felt for the other man. He'd contemplated it, of course, in quiet, unspoken of moments when he was alone and wanting nothing but to be close to Daniel. He didn't think it would go any further than that. Was it natural for him to desire other men? Was it the remnants of some past imprint carrying forward? Perhaps it was something from his real identity, sometime long before this city was made. Whatever the source, he couldn't imagine anything better than having Daniel in his arms, than tugging buttons undone and pushing aside clothing to stroke the bare skin underneath, to tease a nipple with his fingertips just to hear Daniel gasp. It seemed effortless to pursue this need, just an even build of heat and desire and an unspoken understanding of what they both wanted and where this would go.

He followed wordlessly when Daniel drew back to tug him into his room, stepping close to kiss him again, working to remove the last pieces of clothing from between them so that he could stroke his hands from Daniel's shoulders down to his hips unimpeded. He drew a soft breath as Daniel pressed closer, encouraging more, moaning as John's hands slid over the curve of his waist and down his hips to cup his ass. "You're perfect," he murmured, feeling almost overwhelmed by the pleasure of being here. He dipped his head to nuzzle Daniel's shoulder, licking along the tendon of his neck, sucking and nibbling at the skin. "You're so perfect, Daniel. Want you so bad...."

"You have me," Daniel breathed in reply, stepping back just to urge John down into bed with him, winding arms up around his torso and stroking over his back and shoulders as if trying to memorize his form. "You freed me. You saved me when I'd given up hope. Everything I am is yours."

John pulled back for just a moment with a sudden spike of alarm. "This isn't just because I saved the city - "

Daniel reached up to cut him off with a kiss, chuckling softly against his mouth. "Far more than that. I don't give myself away just as gratitude."

"But - " John's complaint was cut off by another kiss, by Daniel's fingers closing around his wrist, tugging his hand down to press against his cock, proud and erect. John gave a low groan, curling his fingers around the thick heat of his shaft to stroke slowly, letting his thumb smooth over the head of his cock, slick with precum. He drew a sharp breath against Daniel's mouth, feeling his own cock jerk in an unexpected rush of arousal at the realization of his lover's arousal, at the pleasure of stroking him slowly and feeling him shudder in pleasure against him.

"There is nothing false about this, believe me." Daniel rocked up into his touch just a little as his own hand slipped between them to curl around John's cock, keeping time with him. "God, John..."

John let his eyes fall closed to the sensations, resting his forehead against Daniel's for a moment, stroking him a little faster. "Tell me what you want."

"You. This. Everything." Daniel's voice grew huskier, more laboured than normal, his free hand clenching at John's back. "Oh god...."

Part of him was aware that he ought to be doing so much more, that he ought to be taking the opportunity to cover every inch of Daniel's skin with kisses, to lick and taste and tease him, to take him in his mouth and suck him until he came down his throat. But he couldn't bring himself to stop _this_ , the intimacy of being close to Daniel, the overwhelming bliss of pleasure given and received in return. He shifted just a little to lay at his side, claiming his mouth in breathless, demanding kisses as he brought their cocks together and wrapped a hand around them both, stroking them together a little faster and groaning at the feel of Daniel shuddering against him. "Perfect," he gasped, stroking a little more firmly, arching, almost grinding against him. "Oh god, Daniel...."

"Don't stop." Daniel's voice was a breathless plea, fingers digging into his back as his free hand twined with John's, stroking with him as he rocked up into his touch. "God, it's been so long...."

John managed a low moan in reply, stroking a little faster with him, feeling almost painfully hard, aching to come. He wanted to reassure him that he had no intention of stopping, that stopping was the last thing in the world that he would do at this point, that every nerve in his body was singing with pleasure, building strong and fast. Then Daniel leaned in to press a trembling kiss to his neck, biting at his shoulder, and the lick of pain was all he could take. He cried out as the pleasure overwhelmed him, coming slick in his fingers and Daniel's, free hand clenching in his hair to keep him in place, to beg for more. He heard Daniel give a choked cry against his skin, bucking up into his fingers a few times before joining him, pressed close and shuddering against him, his seed slick in John's fingers and against his stomach.

For a long moment they stayed silent, catching their breath, and John closed his eyes to the lingering high of orgasm, each shiver of pleasure slowly ebbing from his body. He shifted to press a kiss to Daniel's ear, drawing a slow breath. "Stay with me always," he murmured, nuzzling the soft skin just under Daniel's ear. "Please. The world only feels real when I'm with you. I need you."

Daniel shivered against him, curling closer, fingers stroking through John's dark curls. "Then you understand exactly how I feel," he said softly, nuzzling his jaw to press a soft, trembling kiss to his lips. "I'll stay. I'll always be here."

"Then I will, too," John breathed in reply, the words awakening a warmth of adoration and contentment that moved through him. "Always."

Daniel gave a soft, happy hum, pressing a soft kiss to his skin over the place where he'd bit him. "And for the rest of the night?"

The hint of promise in his lover's voice alone would have convinced him. He drew back to give Daniel a warm smile, pressing a soft kiss to his mouth. "That's the best idea I've heard in weeks, love."

~~~

**Author's Note:**

> Happy Yule! I'm sorry I didn't have more time to give this the slow build of romance and kinky hot porn it deserves, but I couldn't resist having a go at your prompt. Hope you enjoy!


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